you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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