The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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