i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
