so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize