Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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