Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize