toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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