East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
