she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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