Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
