I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize