Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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