Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
