She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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