You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
