why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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