Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
