malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
