Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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