I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
