Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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