at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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