I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize