so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
