Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize