Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
