So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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