I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
