Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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