Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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