Pregnant stripper...not hot.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
