How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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