I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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