i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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