i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
