Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
