that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Randomize
