Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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