NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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