She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize