if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize