your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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