Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
