What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
