Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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