I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
