If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
