apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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