so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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