Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
