like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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