its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
