it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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