OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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