I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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