he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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