I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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