hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
